August 18, 2026: Who cares about me anyway?
Lost. Ashamed. Inadequate. That antagonizing fear of abandonment that haunts you throughout your life.
I am lost in anger. In anxiety. In sadness. I feel like nothing works in my life. I tried and failed. I tried so hard and failed. I keep trying and failing. I lose to things that aren’t even in my control. I hate that I have to observe how life happens ‘to me’ rather than ‘by me.’
What am I doing wrong? I always try to be my best. Better than my best.
My family pretend as if everything is alright. I talk to them once a week. On Sundays.